I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
