How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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