I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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