Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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