Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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