we're blogging at a bar
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
