I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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