so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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