So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
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I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
