Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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