what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
