If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
honey bunches of taint.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
