aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
