i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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