well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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