For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
