home. puking in laundry basket.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have fence marks all over my body
I deserve this hangover.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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