i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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