best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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