Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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