broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
