so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
