I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
