There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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