I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
