talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's always time for handjobs
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
