Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
