she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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