The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
