i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
