At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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