Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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