YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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