I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize