Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
