So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
