Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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