"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
