the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
