I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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