I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
