I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
