we're blogging at a bar
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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