I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
