I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Screwed.edu
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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