My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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