she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
