I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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