i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
