I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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