What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
