Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
