All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
