I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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