i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
