So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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