Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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