it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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