I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
