my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
