id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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